I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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