how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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