Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
