I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
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Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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