just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
