Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Someone shit on the floor
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
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How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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