I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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