Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
