Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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