he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
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