Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
i dont even know how to be here
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize