I didn't shave. On purpose
I accidentally burped into my bong.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.