It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
