Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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