drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
