i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
