why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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