Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i think my mom watched the whole time
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
