We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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