that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
