why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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