Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
