In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize
