i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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