He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
