he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
