Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
