i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
