so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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