my sisters under your porch take her home
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
