I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
