apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
