Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
