She announced her abortion via fbk
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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