what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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