I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize