I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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