Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
