people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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