The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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