He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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