The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
