New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
