One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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