What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Randomize
