I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
