FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
