y did u give ur computer a hand job?
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize