There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
