Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
