sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
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