I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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