yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Randomize
