so explain again why im purple
no
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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