If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
