People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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