ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
