I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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