I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
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