someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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