In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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