Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
