I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
