I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
