just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
You know, be my cock's hype man.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
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