You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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